A Question of Brains

I work with preteens and new teens pretty much every working day. I will never cease to be amazed at how callous they are, how illogical they are, how unempathetic they are, how unreasoning they are.

I say, stop throwing that. They say, the other person threw it first. I say, so? I don't care who threw it first, just stop. A "yes, ma'am" will do. And besides, when you threw it back you just gave them more ammunition to throw at you. How does that make it better? Don't answer that. It was rhetorical. Just stop.

But their sense of equality, revenge, justice is skewed!

They hit someone else [an uninvolved party] in the throwing of said object. They won't apologize event though they admit it was an accident. They say, I was trying to hit so-and-so because he threw it at me. I say, did you see them throw it? They say, no, but this other so-and-so told me they threw it. I say, did it ever occur to you that someone is trying to start trouble and that you were aiming at an innocent party to begin with? They just look at me. Then they say, well, who threw it? I say, it doesn't matter. You need to apologize to the innocent bystander.

Finally, an apology.

And the minute I turn my back, something else is flying through the air. Every time.

This happens with he-was-talkin-about-my-mother situations. And she-said-that-other-girl's-name-when-that-other-girl-had-nothing-to-do-with-anything situations.

As a general rule, teens/preteens don't respect each other, teachers, parents, adults, elderly, handicapped (mentally or physically).

And what frustrates me (possibly to the point of anger) beyond all belief is that they don't see what's wrong when they tell someone who is an adult and who is suffering from a disease of the brain, that said adult can't do something because she doesn't have the brains to make that decision for herself.

I know I haven't been around, and for that I am guilty of having a skewed view of the goings on. But that still doesn't make it right. And yes, it is an issue of black and white--no gray area here. You don't talk to people like that. ANYONE at all. I don't go around insulting my students when they are being stubborn and making poor choices. While I may have made fun of some other aspects of her personality, I sure as heck never made fun of my sister when she wasn't developing at the same rate as her peers. When I volunteered with the Special Olympics in Austin, you never heard anyone insulting the athletes, telling them they didn't have the brains enough to go bowling, or play volleyball.

And the truth is, not everyone is nice, but there are Biblical principles to help us out, something in addition to the Golden Rule (which, in my opinion, is losing ground right along with nursery rhymes and fairy tales). They may not be easy to follow, but they are a starting point:

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matt. 5:44

"We take thought beforehand and aim to be honest and absolutely above suspicion, not only in the sight of the Lord but also in the sight of men." 2 Cor 8:21

"No matter what happens, always be thankful." 1 Thess 5:18

And my favorite of late:

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Romans 12:2

Now, before you think I'm getting all hoity-toity up on a pedestal proclaiming that I am in some way perfect in this respect, let me tell you that I am the first to admit the truth of my sinful nature.

I said that I never said anything like that to anyone. I never claimed to have not said things like that about anyone. The difference is that I knew at the time that what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway. And I felt guilty about it without anyone else packing my bags and sending me on a guilt trip.

I think that with many children, there's a disconnect. They, in some way, feel justified to treat people any way they want to. Again, the Golden Rule is lost. They start treating others the way they've been treated because "it's only fair" and they have some misplaced sense of justice.

Humanity seems like a dreary place in a middle school.

"The character of even a child can be known by the way he acts - whether what he does is pure and right." Proverbs 20:11

I'm thankful that I have a Father who forgives me, even when I open my big mouth and say something stupid; and I'm thankful that He's given me the patience needed to work with this age group.

"Blessed is the man who keeps on going when times are hard." James 1:12