Mad Gab

I have to share this because this made me laugh. Back at the Beavers the other night, Mother-in-law and I were in the kitchen, and I don't remember what brought this up, but she mentioned when she had gone with me to the emergency room earlier in the month. Paraphrase:

"I don't know if you realize this, and I don't know if you had just used your inhaler too much or what, but that night you were woohooo [making a crazy gesture] just talk talk talking."

I laughed. Eli and I have been together for over 8 years, married for 5.5 of them. After 8 years, she doesn't even really know me. And so as to not hurt her feelings from thinking I was laughing at her, I had to explain what was funny:

1. She's never spent that much time with me uninterrupted before.
2. I talk all the time, especially when I have a captive audience (emergency room, pillow talk, plane rides, classroom).
3. Comments on my report card were always to the effect of "Erin talks too much."
4. Growing up, my family was lucky if they could get a word in edgewise at the dinner table (another captive audience).
5. I was the worst at slumber parties about keeping everyone awake by talking, even in college.

I had to bring Eli over to vouch for me. He thought it was funny that his mother thought this and was able to reassure her that my behavior was normal, not some version of me hyped up on asthma drugs. He shared that he often has to tell me to hush so that he can go to sleep at night, that I tend to wait to talk to him then when his attention is not divided between me and the TV or computer. It drives him crazy, but I'm sure he loves that about me, too...right?

The truth is that as I've matured, I have improved my ability to shut my trap at the appropriate times. I still get caught in situations where someone asks me a question and as I'm giving my lengthy, albeit (I think) interesting, explanation they tune out or get engaged in another conversation nearby. And then I have to re-evaluate my delivery. What do people really want to know? I have to try and trim the excess. I'm not expert, but I'm getting better.

Around the Beavers, I think my waning verbosity is due to a couple of factors:

One, they (the men), know everything about everything, have a tendency to be very opinionated and are never wrong. If I'm right, it's because I got lucky, that's all. Even if that happens, they still weren't wrong. So I was just lucky when you wanted to talk college basketball in 2001 and you shut me down when I said I thought Duke would go all the way, and they ended up winning the National Championship?

Two, I'm sometimes astounded by the things that come out of their mouths that I'm speechless, especially when it comes to politics (again, mostly just the men). Did you really just say that Obama is the antichrist? Did you really just tell me that the reason people voted for Obama is because they're stupid?

Three, they talk about people and experiences I can't relate to. School life at ASMS. Growing up with the Beavers. Cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, people I've never met. Family vacations to places I've never been. Quoting songs/lines from comedy albums I've never heard.

Don't get me wrong. I love them. They are great in most every respect. But I just do a lot more listening and holding my tongue when I'm with them. As a result, they think I'm shy. Really, I just pick my battles (generally ones that aren't futile).

Thankfully, I now have a sister-in-law who commiserates, and we make faces at each other from across the room when the family is together. She's openly Pro-Bama and would have died to hear some of the things said this weekend.

Anyway, I'm growing and maturing, but rest assured, I still talk as much as I used to...just now I do it in spurts.

"Men usually speak about 10,000 to 20,000 words per day while women speak 30,000 to 50,000 words per day with gusts up to 125,000." -- Dave Ramsey

Amen.