Heavy Stuff

Eli is working in the courtroom during his first capital murder trial. I didn't know very much about it when I went to spend our limbo time between school and church with the judge's wife. She mentioned that she told her husband not to give her any details because it was so disturbing, and that she didn't know how he could listen to testimony on the subject. She gave me a little synopsis about it, but not much. Then it was on the front page of the paper today. I'm horrified.

My heart goes out to all the men and women who have to sit through and even give testimony in this case involving a young man who is accused of murdering his 7-month-old son and abusing both the son and a 3-year-old girl (non-relative). The man was 18 at the time. The story caught my eye becaues it was 1) the front page, 2) the court reporter that I know was in the corner of the picture, and 3) the doctor they showed on the stand testifying about the unresponsive baby coming to the emergency room was the same doctor who treated my first asthma attack last summer.

After Eli came home, I asked him some questions. He answered a few of them, but then he said something that reminded me that he's one of those people who has to sit through the horrifying testimony each day. He told me that he'd rather not talk about it, but spend time with us. Sometimes I can be so dense. That totally makes sense.

People who see the depravity of the human race on a regular basis (law enforcement officials, judges, lawyers, ministers, hospital staff, social workers) need a break too, no matter how much we want to know details. They need a time to decompress and leave their work behind them.

Why didn't I think of that before I opened my big mouth?

If Eli goes into his own practice, I'm going to have to learn to wait and listen and be available for him if and when he wants to share. Not to force the issue. As a general state of being.

So, Eli, I'm sorry for being so insensitive. I love you.

Good night.