Friday, March 6, 2009

Neurosis has a certain charm

Yes, Stacey, I am neurotic, but I think it keeps me sane. And it saves me money on therapy. I just work through stuff my own way. :)

I have been thinking a lot lately about the path my life has taken. I'm almost thirty years old, have been married for nearly six years (together for 8.5), and am about to have my first baby. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Eli and I have had a fantastic six years of marriage, just the two of us. Not all of it was easy, but most of it was. As I've said before, I am blessed. And loved.

So I'm a late bloomer (I mean, I didn't get married at 19, did I?) and remember a time when "everyone is getting married"...except me. I dragged Eli to many, many of my friends' weddings. I was okay with not jumping on that bandwagon, though. And the two years I spent in Austin were probably the best spent two years of my life, getting to know "me" before "me" became "us".

I would tick off the years, saying, gee, Mom had done whatever by now. Mom was done having kids by 26, married 7 years. At that age, I had no kids and had only been married 2 years. Mom had a ten year old by the time she was my current age. I'm just starting out and can't imagine having a preteen right now. So, you see, I feel like the pattern-shirker in the family. Not that people gave up on me. [Don't tell me if you did.] I just wasn't following in any path that had been previously forged. What can I say? I'm a pioneer. Mom said she would joke about pulling out pictures of her family to show off, showing Stacey and David and their two beautiful kiddos, Julie and her large, photogenic doggie, and then Erin and Eli and degrees [weirdos]. Again, yes, I'm neurotic.

So, onto this baby thing. I felt like a pioneer for a while. Oh, for about 10 minutes. Maybe I'm just to this point in my life (and perhaps I'm not really a late bloomer after all) but EVERYBODY'S having babies! I hear it's good for the continuation of the species. And several of my friends, new and old, are having their first babies. I suspect people have been having babies all along (haha) but I wasn't really attuned to it. It was easier to say "except me." Now it's like every day I have a baby update to share with Eli. This person is having a baby, too! What a novelty! How coincidental! Can you believe it? He smiles and nods, humoring me in this time of extra-estrogenal-sensory.

So, maybe I'm back on track after all. And I'm happy that all my friends are having babies (first, second, third, whichever in line) because it means for me as a teacher that in a decade or so, we're going to have a crop of well-parented middle school students. Thank you, friends, for doing the responsible thing and reproducing!

Especial congrats to my pregnant pals, my fellow bandwagoneers, if you will: Jennifer from college, Kerry from college, Jeni from college, Mary Kathryn from church/theatre, Erin from my first job/church, Kelly from church in Hewitt, Deana from church in Hewitt, Amanda from high school, other Amanda from high school, Laurie from high school, and anyone else I missed.

See what I mean? EVERYONE.


Motorcycle grandma said...

Not only did you find who the "me" is before becoming "us", also before becoming the MOM. Several weeks ago someone approached me saying, "you're Matt's mom, right?" I politely stated . . . Well, my NAME is Bonnie and I indeed have a son named Matt!

From now until eternity you will be known as Baby Beaver's mom so it's important to know who you are in your own right.

Stacey L King said...

But those college degrees are so cute! You just wanna PINCH 'em! LOL

I think EVERY good mom is a pioneer, no matter what her mom or sister did, no matter what all her friends are doing. Every baby is different, every situation is different, so every good mom must forge a new path, both for herself and for her child. Every day.

Cheryl said...

And I am so very, very proud of my mature, educated, eloquent daughters who are and going to be the very, very best mothers and role models. I look in total awe at the beautiful women they have turned out to be and know it is only because of what the Lord did in spite of my immaturity and ineptness. And I am BLESSED. (and a little heartbroken that Baby Beaver lives so far away) AND I know that they "don't do guilt" either!

Misty said...

give us 6 months, and maybe you can add our names again ;)

Kelly said...

You are so funny, glad i made the pregnant list : )