Saturday, May 30, 2009

I have a job. In a really good district. So, why does that make me sad?

I originally logged on to tell you about our day, but then I checked my voicemail and the tide turned. "By the end of next week" turned into today. Opelika City Schools called me back and offered me a job. All I have to do is call and give them a verbal confirmation of my interest and we're set for next year--the contract will be drawn up this week. The district is very good. The school is amazing. It's the opportunity of my teaching career. And yet...

I don't know.

Eli says that I deserve to have this awesome job, that I should get to experience a good teaching situation in a good school system. And I know he's right, but I had hoped to stay home next year (and for many years after), but realistically I know that I will probably drive myself crazy. Eli doesn't have a job for next year yet, so really it comes down to me right now. Some of the retired church ladies came over to visit (unannounced) yesterday and asked about my interview. I mentioned that I really didn't want to put Elsie in daycare for several reasons, and J offered to keep her. That is so funny how that just fell into my lap. I would, of course, do more research into J and her home, but the first word that comes to mind is godsend because Mom had mentioned to me that I should find an individual to keep her instead of a daycare. But the individual found me, unannounced.

I'm happy and sad, both. I will say yes and take this job, because it, too, is a godsend. But I will be sad about going back to work right as my baby can make eye contact and smile at me. I will be happy, though, knowing that it's not permanent. Once Eli gets settled and we know an approximate plan for the next few years, I will have the opportunity to be with my baby. After next year.

More about today's adventures and about the apartment in a later post.



Cheryl said...

I love you so much.

Jen Barnes said...

From what you've written, it seems like God is providing just the right things for you. And it sounds like you know in your heart the right thing for your family for you to do. I know I would be thrilled at an individual watching my kids vs. an institution, that's for sure!

This is always a hard choice, I know. I'm saying a prayer for you right now to have peace over this area of your life.

stephanie said...

congrats on the new job!
i'm sure it will be hard to be away from elsie, but it will all work out: mayhaps she can schedule her series of firsts to official school holidays? most of the entertaining stuff doesn't start happening until she's about a year old anyway, yes?

silver lining=think of all the dirty diapers you won't have to change ;)

Misty said...

I'm sad for you too. But, as you said, God has sent these things your way as a reminder of His faithfulness and His control, as well as your chance for obedience. I love you and also pray for you today!

Crissy and Kevin said...

I have totally been ther e my friend.. I returned to work when DRew was 7 weeks old to finished out the school year. I cried and cried, but I too had an individual, that fell into my lap as well...I even went so far as to not even look for anyone till almost 2 weeks before I had to go back...It'll be good, and sad, but as you said , when it is right, you will be home... I will be praying, and remeber I'm only a phone call away.. just remember to make firends with your pump before you go and find a secure place to pumpo ( my dept head (male) walked in on me!)

Jill Clair said...

We love you Erin!! My mom taught full-time my whole life and I love her dearly and we are super close... You are an amazing mommy! :)