Okay, ladies. I'm only going to say this once. I don't know how you do it. For those of you whose chest registers on the cup scale, I don't envy you, nor have I ever, really. I always appreciated the fact that I could exercise without extra support and discomfort. But now, I am cursed with a milk-filled chest that is uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure it's just a C cup (which some of you think of as small, for heaven's sake). It's annoying, and I want my body back! I want my clothes to fit through the chest! I want to be able to put my arms down to my side without anything getting in the way! Now, is that really too much to ask? :)
I know this is a silly post topic, but seeing as how my main lot in life these past weeks has been primary feeder, I thought I would get these feelings off my chest (pun intended).
Happy Wednesday to you!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Part Human
I woke up this morning feeling halfway human. Elsie slept in three shifts last night. A 3-hour, a 2-hour, and then a 3-hour jaunt through dreamland. Wow. It's amazing how a little more consecutive sleep can change your outlook. I woke up several times within the three hours thinking she would wake up soon, but forced myself to go back to sleep, and I'm glad I did. I swaddled her last night for the first time, really, and I think that was the magic trick. Eli wanted to know how I got her to put her arms down in the swaddle, and I told him I didn't know. I was asleep when I did it. Haha. (She likes to have her arms free and sleep with them above her head, roller coaster "wheeeeee" style.)
The interview/meeting yesterday went well. Basically they told me they wanted to hire me, but that they couldn't do anything formal until they had interviewed other people for the job to make it a legitimate hiring process. They told me they called me first because they wanted me. So, that felt good. This morning, someone called from central office (I didn't know who because Elsie decided it was time to scream at that particular moment) to set up a follow-up interview with the assistant superintendent next week. So, this ball is a-rolling. We'll see where it rolls.
Today is our six-year anniversary. I can't believe it's already been that long! Well, add in the almost three years we dated before we got married, and it's been almost nine years! Unbelievable! Eli got me a strand of pearls. When M & S got married two years ago, she gave pearls as her bridesmaid gifts and I was jealous. Eli remembered that. We actually already went on our anniversary date this past Saturday. Mom watched Elsie while we went to go see the new Star Trek movie. It was awesome! And I didn't get very restless during the movie (okay, maybe during the last 30 minutes). I don't think I could leave Elsie in better hands than my mom's. Thanks, Mom!
I'm going to take it easy today, figure out how to use my Moby wrap, do some laundry, take a few naps. I never thought I would like Tuesdays this much.
The interview/meeting yesterday went well. Basically they told me they wanted to hire me, but that they couldn't do anything formal until they had interviewed other people for the job to make it a legitimate hiring process. They told me they called me first because they wanted me. So, that felt good. This morning, someone called from central office (I didn't know who because Elsie decided it was time to scream at that particular moment) to set up a follow-up interview with the assistant superintendent next week. So, this ball is a-rolling. We'll see where it rolls.
Today is our six-year anniversary. I can't believe it's already been that long! Well, add in the almost three years we dated before we got married, and it's been almost nine years! Unbelievable! Eli got me a strand of pearls. When M & S got married two years ago, she gave pearls as her bridesmaid gifts and I was jealous. Eli remembered that. We actually already went on our anniversary date this past Saturday. Mom watched Elsie while we went to go see the new Star Trek movie. It was awesome! And I didn't get very restless during the movie (okay, maybe during the last 30 minutes). I don't think I could leave Elsie in better hands than my mom's. Thanks, Mom!
I'm going to take it easy today, figure out how to use my Moby wrap, do some laundry, take a few naps. I never thought I would like Tuesdays this much.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Change
I kept having nightmares last night that I fell asleep with the baby in bed with me and that she got lost. I had my arms around something I thought was Elsie, but it turned out to be a pillow. I would wake up and thankfully she would be where she should be--asleep in the bassinet. Same dream, multiple times. I have a feeling this is the beginning of 18+ years of Elsie-related anxiety dreams.
Speaking of anxiety, Mom left yesterday, after an emotional week here in Alabama. Me thinks I would have crumpled this week without her help. Being sleep deprived makes me grouchy and annoyed at stupid little things. I then get frustrated with myself for being this crazy person. But Mom was there to encourage and reassure me that it's okay. I've heard from several sources that I may never be that same again, that I may never feel like myself, and that we'll just have to get used to the new me, the mother me. Another thing to look forward to.
Something else that will take getting used to is the cats vying for our attention. Coco has started meowing in a way that imitates Elsie's cry (to the point that it fools my mammary glands). Eli says it's just because he had freshly awakened and that his meow gets stronger and more cat-like when he is more awake, but I don't agree. He's done that cry just walking around the house. It is one of the most bizarre things I have encountered with this cat yet. Timmy is loving all the baby stuff packaging cardboard boxes that he can sleep in. However, any time Eli sits down, he's right there on his lap, sometimes trying to share space with Elsie (which is nice, because Coco just wants to sit on her--forget sharing).
And finally, another reminder that I'm not in control. (C'mon? Will I ever learn?) We have 12 days left to let our apartment complex know if we're staying or leaving at the end of our lease on June 30. Up to right now we have had no idea. And for the record, we still have no idea, so it's a leap of faith. Last week, Opelika City Schools called me and asked me to update my application for the next school year, as there would be a language arts opening soon. Yes, that's right. They called me. Because of their attentions, I reluctantly updated my application, as I'm still conflicted about this stay-at-home-mom thing. Last night a woman from the district called me on a Sunday night to ask me to come in this week for an interview with the principal at OMS. I've worked for him before, back in September when I served as a long-term sub for another teacher's maternity leave, before I was hired into my full-time position in Chambers County. She called this morning to ask me to come in this afternoon.
Eli and I had a heart-to-heart last night about what the future holds, about what we're going to do about this lease. He still has his heart on the Coast Guard, and if the Lord sees that one through, it would still be sometime during the next year before he would go to training--same with the National Guard, actually. He said he's resigned to be here for another year. But then he admitted that it wasn't really resignation. We both agreed that we are very happy here. I don't have the urge to move anywhere else, though I'd be willing if it came to that.
Anyway, I'm going this afternoon. I will come home with a job. We will move at the end of June to the Opelika side of town where the rent is cheaper and the church community is closer. And we will live off of one salary for a year (though hopefully will have two incomes) to try to pay down some of this student loan debt--maybe even pay mine off--and credit card debt.
Speaking of anxiety, Mom left yesterday, after an emotional week here in Alabama. Me thinks I would have crumpled this week without her help. Being sleep deprived makes me grouchy and annoyed at stupid little things. I then get frustrated with myself for being this crazy person. But Mom was there to encourage and reassure me that it's okay. I've heard from several sources that I may never be that same again, that I may never feel like myself, and that we'll just have to get used to the new me, the mother me. Another thing to look forward to.
Something else that will take getting used to is the cats vying for our attention. Coco has started meowing in a way that imitates Elsie's cry (to the point that it fools my mammary glands). Eli says it's just because he had freshly awakened and that his meow gets stronger and more cat-like when he is more awake, but I don't agree. He's done that cry just walking around the house. It is one of the most bizarre things I have encountered with this cat yet. Timmy is loving all the baby stuff packaging cardboard boxes that he can sleep in. However, any time Eli sits down, he's right there on his lap, sometimes trying to share space with Elsie (which is nice, because Coco just wants to sit on her--forget sharing).
And finally, another reminder that I'm not in control. (C'mon? Will I ever learn?) We have 12 days left to let our apartment complex know if we're staying or leaving at the end of our lease on June 30. Up to right now we have had no idea. And for the record, we still have no idea, so it's a leap of faith. Last week, Opelika City Schools called me and asked me to update my application for the next school year, as there would be a language arts opening soon. Yes, that's right. They called me. Because of their attentions, I reluctantly updated my application, as I'm still conflicted about this stay-at-home-mom thing. Last night a woman from the district called me on a Sunday night to ask me to come in this week for an interview with the principal at OMS. I've worked for him before, back in September when I served as a long-term sub for another teacher's maternity leave, before I was hired into my full-time position in Chambers County. She called this morning to ask me to come in this afternoon.
Eli and I had a heart-to-heart last night about what the future holds, about what we're going to do about this lease. He still has his heart on the Coast Guard, and if the Lord sees that one through, it would still be sometime during the next year before he would go to training--same with the National Guard, actually. He said he's resigned to be here for another year. But then he admitted that it wasn't really resignation. We both agreed that we are very happy here. I don't have the urge to move anywhere else, though I'd be willing if it came to that.
Anyway, I'm going this afternoon. I will come home with a job. We will move at the end of June to the Opelika side of town where the rent is cheaper and the church community is closer. And we will live off of one salary for a year (though hopefully will have two incomes) to try to pay down some of this student loan debt--maybe even pay mine off--and credit card debt.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Pictures, finally!
Elsie Jane being retrieved.
My cheesy baby.
Proud dad looks on as the nurses do their thing.
Eli shows me the baby for the first time.
Later, I get to hold Elsie for the first time.
Elsie and Dr. Litsey.
My cheesy baby.
Proud dad looks on as the nurses do their thing.
Eli shows me the baby for the first time.
Later, I get to hold Elsie for the first time.
Elsie and Dr. Litsey.
One Week
So, I have the "refrain" from the Barenaked Ladies' song "One Week" in my mind. I never realized how annoying it is. :)
Yesterday Elsie was one week old. Mom and I took her up to the pediatric clinic to have her one week weigh in, and....(drum roll)...
After 7 days, she weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz.! My, oh my!
Remember, her birth weight was 8 lbs. 1 oz. In actuality, we went to have her jaundice checked on Monday they went ahead and weighed her. She was already back up to 8 lbs. (from her discharge weight at 7 lbs. 14 oz.). I thought that must be a fluke since it had only been 4 days since her birth, but I guess not.
Today I follow up with the lactation counselors at the hospital. They're going to be plum pleased at her weight, but I'm wondering if it's normal for a one-week old baby to nurse for ONE HOUR at a time. Geez. This may be too much information, but I'm pretty tender.
So, a couple of things that have hit a nerve lately:
The pediatric clinic nurse called for her by calling for "Elise". I waited, and when she didn't say anything else, I said, "Elsie?" She just looked at me and said, "Okay." I may have come across a little harsh, but I wanted to make sure she was calling for us. Turns out that all the hand-written notes in her medical record have her name right, but the actual type-written label on the folder actually says Elise! I'm afraid this is something my dear daughter will have to contend with her whole life.
And then, a friend from church came over to bring dinner to us, for which we are very thankful, but when she sat down to chat for a while, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Please tell me you're going to call her Elle." Excuse me? This friend's a little rough around the edges to begin with, but I really wanted to slap her. You don't have to like my baby's name, and you also don't have to comment on it. We're starting a revolution, people! Single-handedly bringing back the old lady names, one baby at a time. They will be in vogue soon enough and you will scoff that you ever scoffed that Elsie is the name of the Borden cow.
Anyway, I'm trying to find my groove. I got the most sleep last night without keeping my mom up all night, so I felt good about that, though my emotions are all over the place. Sleep when baby sleeps. Cry when baby cries. That seems to be the way things are going down these days, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. At least until my mom goes back to Texas on Sunday, then I'm going to have a breakdown because I'll be all by myself with baby all day. I'll let you know how it goes when I have the wherewithall to blog about it.
Thanks for the prayers and moral support!
Yesterday Elsie was one week old. Mom and I took her up to the pediatric clinic to have her one week weigh in, and....(drum roll)...
After 7 days, she weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz.! My, oh my!
Remember, her birth weight was 8 lbs. 1 oz. In actuality, we went to have her jaundice checked on Monday they went ahead and weighed her. She was already back up to 8 lbs. (from her discharge weight at 7 lbs. 14 oz.). I thought that must be a fluke since it had only been 4 days since her birth, but I guess not.
Today I follow up with the lactation counselors at the hospital. They're going to be plum pleased at her weight, but I'm wondering if it's normal for a one-week old baby to nurse for ONE HOUR at a time. Geez. This may be too much information, but I'm pretty tender.
So, a couple of things that have hit a nerve lately:
The pediatric clinic nurse called for her by calling for "Elise". I waited, and when she didn't say anything else, I said, "Elsie?" She just looked at me and said, "Okay." I may have come across a little harsh, but I wanted to make sure she was calling for us. Turns out that all the hand-written notes in her medical record have her name right, but the actual type-written label on the folder actually says Elise! I'm afraid this is something my dear daughter will have to contend with her whole life.
And then, a friend from church came over to bring dinner to us, for which we are very thankful, but when she sat down to chat for a while, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Please tell me you're going to call her Elle." Excuse me? This friend's a little rough around the edges to begin with, but I really wanted to slap her. You don't have to like my baby's name, and you also don't have to comment on it. We're starting a revolution, people! Single-handedly bringing back the old lady names, one baby at a time. They will be in vogue soon enough and you will scoff that you ever scoffed that Elsie is the name of the Borden cow.
Anyway, I'm trying to find my groove. I got the most sleep last night without keeping my mom up all night, so I felt good about that, though my emotions are all over the place. Sleep when baby sleeps. Cry when baby cries. That seems to be the way things are going down these days, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. At least until my mom goes back to Texas on Sunday, then I'm going to have a breakdown because I'll be all by myself with baby all day. I'll let you know how it goes when I have the wherewithall to blog about it.
Thanks for the prayers and moral support!
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